April-May 2020
I cannot nor allow myself to forget the feeling that encompassed my body at the time when I was laid off from my job during the onset of COVID-19. I remember taking a call in my bathroom from a representative of the apartment I had leased from. They had called me back to inform me that there was nothing they could do to help me regarding waiving fees associated with breaking my lease.
At the time, I was in a state-less-than-sobriety, as one of my best-friends had come over to comfort with with a bottle of liquor. As the representative broke news to me, I recall responding in a sympathetic manner. “Thank you so much for getting back to me so quickly. I know it can probably be difficult to break this kind of news and I couldn’t imagine how everyone else is reacting. I know this isn’t your fault, I apologize for the backlash that you’ve probably gotten from other tenants. It’s a difficult time for everyone, I understand…”
That empathetic conversation which stemmed from an understanding of the utmost-shitty-situation was a reflection of how I wished people in leadership would treat everyone.
When I was laid off, I felt helpless. My coworkers nor managers were never informed that I was going to be let go. The decision was made from an entirely statistical analysis from the executive team and the explanation provided was “we want to make this quick and painless as possible.” Bullshit.
After that call with the apartment representative. I vowed to myself that night that I would do everything and anything in my power to make the people around me feel cared for. When I get into a position of leadership, no matter what hardships are faced, no matter what happens, I want to continue to remain transparent with the people I am supporting. Silence can protect those from catastrophizing about the future, but it doesn’t prepare them for what’s to come.
If I want to be someone that can live authentically, I need to be able to communicate and navigate through the hardships myself and show other people that no matter what happens you’ll be okay in the end.
May 2020
No more than four days later, I was the happiest I’ve ever been in over the past few years. Although part of my identity was tied to my job, and my financial stability attached to it was no longer there, I felt empowered by the endless possibilities of how I could live my life. I no longer felt the societal pressure to remain in a profession that I despised just because it brought me status and wealth. I now had the capability of sculpting my life, my future the way I wanted – and I had the support of my friends and family behind me.
I booked my National Academy of Sports Medicine (NASM) Certified Personal Training (CPT) Exam for June 18, 2020, started packing my apartment to move in with one of my best friends, Alyson, who was starting Medical School, and ignited the flame that would be fueled by passion and entrepreneurial spirit.
June 2020
Before long, I received notice that I passed my CPT exam.
